I decided not to put a title on this post because I can't think of appropriate terms for this. Maybe someone who is reading this blog might give one, or in other way it's ok.

Past experiences will make you grow as a person. It makes you more matured and makes you more responsible and able to learn that past mistakes are bound for a change.

Even the present mistakes too.

but why the change you did will create a deception to others? the change that will make anyone not to trust you anymore? change that they think is not good and end up you are sinned? change that will pull you down? ... change that will make enemies?

I don't get what they need about me. I don't get what they want me to do.

All I know, I am surrounded by dusts that beat my eyes to close and not able to wink for a short while. Dusts that I don't know where it came from. Dusts that cannot be avoided, and dusts that cannot be cleansed.

I work for my own. I am doing my job well cause I see myself interested about it and sincere with it. All through with my life, I see no one can't invade my personal stuffs. Anywhere, people are kept on pushing me into the ground.

Just before in my college days, many of them hated me for WHAT I am. They hated me because I don't seem care about them. They made contentions on me that I don't know what infected their brains to do that.

But what I did?

IGNORED them.

They may put thoughts against me. They may spread out how terribly BAD I am just because of that very shallow and stup*d ideas about me.

I remained silent and do what I need to do.

I don't deserve a time to waste thinking about them

Just because I don't play with them like pushing myself to their boundary to fix whatever false matters they have in mind. Hah! Why should I? They will suffer my voodoo that poisons them.

Few can understand me, and these few are the real matured, the real persons.

and with these few, we ended up laughing at the beasts and was like "so what?"

Now, people are putting stories about me. It made me surprised all the time. Maybe that's how popular I am to spare enough of their time for me. The more you need yourself to be alone and be focused on your work, the more you don't invade other's lives, the more you don't talk with them because they don't feel to talk to you in which is not a big deal to you anyway, the more you're silent and think about your next tasks to be done... is the more you are being peeled unknowingly.

I am so prone on these.

They don't even hear things against them from me.

But they can't stop theirselves not to talk about me.

Which I don't know the h*ll reasons why.

Maybe...

Maybe...

Maybe they love me to crush into the ground. *just a thought*

devils in heaven

Sometimes you need to lay yourself into the fire just to appease the warm of your hunger to be happy.

Sometimes you need to play the hell game with those mammoths who tried to catch the air you breathe and kill you.

Sometimes you need to hide in the darkness to be all alone and preserved for a while that no one will dare to touch your shadow.

Sometimes you need to get angry of all the contentions, that even when you walk along the road you hear the sounds of the orcs

Sometimes you need to answer 'no' even if it's all way ' yes'

Sometimes you need to buckle up and prepare to run... run to be free

Sometimes you need to break the rules because rules are not good for thirst

Sometimes you need to drag a person to come with you in heaven

and sometimes you need to hate people and loathe them for the rest your life because of the poisons that penetrate their shallow thinking.


Above all, still your freedom and right matter. *kalabad!*

untitled

Currently Listening to: WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS by GREEN DAY


Just inspired.
I'll post later.

preoccupied

Currently Listening to: SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE by DISHWALLA

I am thinking of so many things... many questions.... all are unanswered. I can't take my mind off with those doubts I have.

I don't know if what I am doing is right.

tomorrow is the day

I will be expecting for your blog to fire up tomorrow (friday) as what you have said.

how come?

Currently Listening to : COLLIDE by Howie Day


I hid this blog from you because it wasn’t the right time for you to read all these stuffs here.

Some people encourage me to invite that “someone” whom I am referring to this blog to at least give him ideas what the damn things I am currently doing. Besides, I might make him flatter if he once read this. Even whoever can feel that.

Now, that you’re up to here. Prowling around the contents of my paradise. You may perhaps know already the reasons why?


But with the question you asked to me. You might never recognized even the tiny spot of my feelings towards you because in person I act naturally. That is you can’t get any signs that I do really like you.

I’m used to this. Even if the way I talk you, you can hardly point out hints from me on you. All I ever need to do every time we bump each other is, just be myself and think as if nothing really happens, nothing is really mushy. But in the end of it, when you’re out of sight my heart jumps with joy and happiness. My friend even look for me coz she thinks I am up in heaven esp the time we collide face to face at the second floor.

Yeah, and at the end of the day. I shout it all out here everything that I feel. Everything that is need to express.


Whatever you knew from here. That answers your question.

u **** ******** ** ***

I know you will be reading this post. So I am bucking up myself to concede what that message means.

SMS
"u reli complete my day"

Most of my posts are all way about you. Just keep on popping up here if you like. :)

Take care!

untitled

Currently Listening to : BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY by OASIS

I was surprised that a friend of mine also listens akin to my current liked song. I am collecting like downloading loads of mp3 in my limewire which only takes less time to be done. That is, our connection is "quite" fast unlike before.

If you want a copy of my mp3s just prompt me and we better have to make exchange with it. Hahahaha I would prefer exchange my mp3s with music videos (esp those that are hard to find)

I never tasted Linux product since the evolution of computers hahaha. But I think this is the very first time that I am shouting that stuff in here.

I will blog about that later.

Go to go. bye

don't

don't be too pretentious that you are not mad at me. Even the way you say it, it shows. Whatever mistakes I did before in our relationship I have already fixed them.

But do you care look at yourself of the mistakes you did to me?

I am not counting them coz that's not worth it at all.

Please stop it. Past is past. If you can't accept me as your friend I don't hell care about it even if how much I have tried. You have your choice and I have mine.

But one thing I will tell you.

I have already forgiven you and I am moving on.

Currently Listening to : STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT by OASIS

Since it's our intrams week hopefully I can finish all my tasks. Just so many things to do. I fail to manage my time really.

I am looking for a music video of D'YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN by OASIS but I can't find even in LimeWire.

This is a pic of Liam Gallagher of Oasis. All I can say he got the most handsome personality of all, not to mention of the bad habits he has. *grin*

this is me

thisblog.avatar != thisblog.owner

I am posting this pic due to the questions I received if my avatar is really the real me. Well, i don't know why they are asking on that, it seems they are more interested with it.

took this pic just this year. so I hope I deserve being a batgirl. hahaha. hmm not to mention the ugliness I possess *sigh*