still

Until now you still don't know what I mean.

abhorrence

I don't know why there are species who are allergic on books but so attracted on complaining.

never again

Yesterday, out of my gloomy and a very new fresh day, something I didn’t expect happened.

My plan was to moved for something to buy at the mall. I preferred to be all alone that time coz my boo was with his family together so it didn’t bother me anymore to look for someone to be with. I used to bring my sister with me during this lonesome moment but still you know ourselves need to be loosened for a while.

Let’s go back to the plan, after malling, go to church to attend mass (I usually catch the last mass in the afternoon).

So, while I was picking some girl stuffs to buy, my stomache ached. First, it was bearable. As I walked my way to the cashier the pain worsen, and I forced myself not to be apparent considering there were lots of people around. I still answered the cashier’s favor for some coins.

After the cashier, calculating its distance from park n shop to the foodcourt. I hurriedly walked heading to the foodcourt. I need a seat.

Then after my obsession to sit. The pain even worsen. I called my mom what happened and she asked me to wait for a little while to fetch me up. So I waited.

When she arrived. She’s so shocked and we went quickly to the hospital.

At the hospital I was accompanied by two doctors and in my mind remembering the very first and last time of my admission at the hospital for 4 weeks when I was in my fouth grade, I swore not to have those dextrose again. Never ever.

So I prayed for the pain to subside. It took 2 hours of hoping. And it did. It MUST subside or else needles will be happy again.

I don’t want to tell anymore of what was the diagnosis. Hmm sort of a warning for me.

good things and bad thing

bad thing:

I only got 2 hours sleep because of the softdrinks infected my brain and that made really hard for the whitelady to emerge to scare me to snore well.

good things:

I'll be back to foxpro programming this time after many years of dumping it due to my severe-headache-of-too-much-facing-on-the-computer case. I'll have to review again. (how could I ever have the e-book again which was given by pixelcatalyst two years ago? I have already buried the CD in my cabinet coz the more I see it the more it kills me. *sigh*

My webby is quite good I have to finish it before March.

Busy with my upcoming exhibit activity stuffs.

second time around

it's so silly to admit that I watched constantine movie for the second time tonight.I just want to have a good time with myself. What am I talking? Geezz!

Well anyway, I got 15 infocom internet prepaid cards here each worth Php 100.00 and duh! how would I ever use this damn cards in the first place we don't have telephone line?. *sigh* Maybe I'll just have to keep it.

Have to go. Need to eat......What? at this time? Argh

it's because of whoever you are

It's been a long time now since the creation of this blog, the ultimate reason is I want to talk about anything technically or emotionally (?) well, what's the sense of blogging anyway?

I used to comprehend from time to time of what could induces me this year from physically to emotionally. Even while I am commuting there are things banging my mind and think about my future.

For 24 years, I begun to ask myself "Am I ready to settle down?". What took me so long of establishing a very new and happy family? What if my boyfriend will ask for a marriage as early after two years of being committed?

Then I remained saying I don't know.

Regardless of my young age and financial stability, the point here is I am not yet emotionally stable. There are still cases of simmering my attention to somebody which led me to admit I am not that "totally" faithful. I say it "totally" because if you see no one and adore no one but your loved one until the end of time you will take it as the manner of being "totally" faithful.

I know. I know it's normal. Maybe these are temptations for me to avoid. But what if this temptation can also offer happiness for me? I mean I am not talking to a sort of "physical contact" but rather falling or attracting someone. What if this will happen?

I don't know, maybe if these will come into existence that's the time for me to know and choose the right way for me to be happy and achieve what I want to achieve with no uncertainties.

constantine

Me and my sister watched this movie last night, and heck! that was the very first time I went to NCCC Mall cinema and also I was a kind of attending a premiere night because it's the first screening yesterday.

The movie package was great. The price is worth. The story is unique and most of all my ever dear handsome Keannu Reeves who plays a good handsome supernatural investigator role, took the importance of it all. That selfdom of John Constantine really fits on Keannu.

Better watch it.

do read these lines

When I am lost
You shine a light for me and set me free
When I am low
You wash away my tears
And take me through

The loneliness
And emptiness
Through the darkest night
Somehow I survive
Through it all

When you tell me I'm the only one you need
Sweet and tenderly
And your love
Breaks away the clouds surrounding me
All I have I want to give to thee

If I should fall
Your love is strong enough to lift me up
If I'm afraid
You chase away my fears
And take me to

A brighter place
Beyond the rain
And I feel alright
Because you're by my side
Through it all

When you tell me I'm the only one you need
Sweet and tenderly
And your love
Breaks away the clouds surrounding me
All I have I want to give to thee

You take me through
The loneliness and emptiness
And I feel alright
'Cause you're by my side

Through it all
You tell me I'm the only one you need
Sweet and tenderly
And your love
Just breaks away the clouds surrounding me
And baby all I have I want to give to thee

Want to give you all of my love
Now and forever my love
All I have I want to give to thee


If you hand a cd of Mariah Carey look for the song entitled "MUSIC BOX". I posted this, because it reminds me of my S-H-A-D-O-W.

the bombings

I was shocked a friend of mine told me about the serial bombing happened last night which injured many people. Was that really the essense of this year's valentine's day, to kill people?


I had a great time yesterday with my boo. We went to hilltop and had dinner without the fear if what might happened considering there were so many people there after the bombing incidents exploded.




Duh! I'm late.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's to all. I would like to say I love you to my mother and my father though it's ackward for me to utter these words since I was a child.

To my friends, though we rarely gather together still only one thing I didn't learn in life which is to forget you guys. I miss you all and to my very good friend also take care always and good luck, you know what I mean.:)

To my xboo, my love for you will lead you to the place where you are happy.

To my co-faculty, I would like to say how much I value our friendship, knowing I am the baby girl in the group, you see how I always long to have an older brother to have fun with, this is only where I feel I am belong here.

To my students, may your day be filled with love and hope to finish your projects. and lastly, I love you God because you brought me to this place.

and also to the ones reading this blog Happy Valentine's day. Muah

Meet the Fockers

I saw this movie last night and I was so laughing out loud knowing I was the only erratic human being sitting at the second column inside the movie house.

The story was nice and I appreciated it a lot. I am encouraging everybody not be all alone but bring your friends to watch this movie to feel the REAL fun coz it's so weird catching yourself roaring (?) alone.

Just like what I did.

morning thoughts

I saw a TV program this morning pertaining to Universe on how the universe created and who created it? Well, only a sole notion that came into my mind, everything is mysterious, be certain and believe that God created it.

So maybe God also made this moment to oomph how it feels like being alone going out anywhere and buy shirts at the mall and you know eat and sipped those cups of ice tea, I feel so peaceful, my calories are preserved and I was thinking can I be like Eugene Shoemaker?

Duh! you got it. That morning program provokes my long time hidden picuancy on Universe.

Universe, Universe... *sigh* When will I get to see for the first and last time the beauty of Universe in real?


Maybe I have to survive soliciting google for that

FIN

some good things never last and so with us. Thanks!

is love conditional?

for almost 2 years of constant and wonderful relationship with you, that no one even my parents can destroy, that above all I am estimable and sincere after all the stops and starts we had and yet until now I can't figure out any rationale why you set up conditions out of these.

You put blemish on the way I treated you now. Just give me time to think.I know you understand me and I deemed now of putting an end of the line. It's not yet final and I am praying God for more answers to my questions.I am seeking and patiently waiting for it.


You're giving me the scent to delude you.

ONLY IF I admit that I am the most
foolish-stupid-bitch-to-do-that-as-the-revenge-for-you.

confused

because I met you and that you tainted me delineating your face and stuck hard permanently into my mind.

You may not know it, but it doesn't make any deal anymore
coz you don't care.

for what reason you exist in this world?

and I am asking you! How many times does your brain can delve in a second just to attest I am finished with it? Can you not understand? It's not my dull fault that you've lost it.

My anger flared up, my spirit burnt up and my patience is dead now, and you're asking me to make a fresh stupid new start? What the hell are you talking about? Can't you see how ugly is your place and that you feel like you belong to the overblown, entrancing niche plus the way you blabber infront of me, you think you're right?

I am forcing myself not to morph and transform into more hellish monster right before your very eyes.

and i realize

I am over you now.

Good Luck

I know people are born with talents to be proud of, and of course you should know it by recognizing with your own self that you have possessed such one.

If so, do the best that you can do and learn to expose it outside coz you might never know somewhere, someday and someone will relish your dexterity whatever field you are into.

I am just a specie yet know nothing how to ripe to what talent I have because I would always wanted a talent of other could also be mine the fact such talent is so irrealizable in my being.

You see? I'm giving all the cooperation that I can because I want someone to be more courageous and soon will be grateful and discern.

I may gone if happens you're gonna be away and build your own pasture. Just keep the advices I have given you coz that help you a lot.

I will be happy for you.

You can be like me in a way of bursting your trust that you can do it,
but I can never be like you who owns the most desirable talent that I want to have.

The Conception

The creation of this blog is made possible because of the apprehension that people are bound to risk the viable of vapid poop sheet whatever being posted in a blog. Not unless if you would shield the feature which gives you no aches everytime you open your blog.

I tend to enable it the fact that everyone is welcome and has the indulgence to respond in everything posted in here.

If you're that snoozy to post or not fascinated. I would like to say thank you for accidentally bumping here.

Good day!