Someone asked me “Are you ok?” while busy doing my tasks for today. I looked so hectic and it bothered someone to asked me as if there’s something going on me.

I answered “ yes, of course why?” She asked me nicely “ really? (with worry in her eyes)” And I just smiled.

She went away and I left alone and things coming over me like thunders. The pasts, the present and the future events of life.

My mind is empty. I can’t even finish one task at a time. I kept on hanging over each stuff that I am doing. I don’t have the full strength to let it done.

Someone told me that I am such a strong girl. Yes, I am beginning to learn to be strong coz that is what I need to do. I don’t have to cry and become weak.

I am thinking. I am using my head. I overrule my head than my emotions. I won’t let my emotions to drag me to nowhere. This time my head is needed to be awaken. Needed to be fed with whatever good things would emerge to keep the things blow away that stuck my head.

My lovelife has been affected so much. I have sacrificed someone because of this. But I need to. Who else would help me? Nothing but only myself alone.

I still have less strength left. Thanks God that I am still be able to keep things going even though it has no direction where it falls and ends.

I need time to fix myself, relieve the pain and refresh my mind. There is a mistake than I am avoiding to happen. This mistake is soon to come. But I know why the hell prone with this kind of matter.


Maybe that’s how my life is going. I don’t intend to push things that I like all the time. Everything has a reason.


But let that reason for me to believe that there is still hope in me after all.

You see, letting go of someone is not an easy thing to do. But I MUST because I don’t want that someone to burn his self inside of my stupid mistake.

Letting go is the start of looking at each other’s bond if we mean to uncut it until destiny unfolds for us.

But this time, above all these things. Make if left and right side of my arms I carry the heaviest stones that I might soon give up.

This is the start of my journey through life. I know this has to be another learning to be pondered in order to more matured and more strong.


I can’t find any person to take me up high but myself alone.

I am still bothered I admit it.
Lie is an only common thing excuses myself from truth.


But to the person who have helped me inspire when the worlds go down on me.
This is the time to start to reunite ourselves again.
If we seldom ignore ourselves before, now I think I am beginning to hold my soul which has been scattered in the wind.


Whoever you are. I will wait for you.