XXX 2

I watched this movie just a while ago. There were many people in there. Hmmm I just love the movie soundtracks, and I am somewhat drooling with their vfx.

I am currently hunching my eardrums to the song entitled "THE PAST" by Jed Madela. Aww! there's nothing about the lyrics though, classical musics never grow old.

There will be no office on monday, so i perhaps would stay at home and sleep. yeah I am hunger for more sleep and I want to grab a copy of that song (though i am only hearing it around and suddenly emerge the other voice of the DJ) it might take a long while and hmm a valid excuse for not using kazza Argh! internet connection do suck this time.

well, i'll just have to wait until my friend would download that song for he is so much blessed with my another frustration. Weee! i never asked him to give me a copy but incase he's reading this blog he would make it possible.

Just received a long-waited MP3 of the song "crazy for you" by michael cruz, can't resist a gay-like person also owns the sexiest voice. Waaahh! he's got a very sexy voice in that song eh?

What else?


Yeah another day of roaming alone in the city, i guess watching movie is my one and only outlet to relax and have fun with myself (rather than making some "night life" around) and also i have already learned the feeling of being a star that doesn't shine.


Heck! someone makes me shine. Ooowws! really? where is he? Nah! he's always be ghostly in my eyes, but so glaring in my mind. Weee! what the hell is that?

I am so happy because I have done my tasks already for a week, I was loosing my voice during my first meeting with them. *sigh* it is just that I am so exposed in handling juniors and seniors than dummy suckers (ewww! i do understand why?). Well, service is service. it is how you serve right?

nothing much new to me other than my new hair cut (is that a NEW hair cut?). hahahaha yeah, i have seen my breathless hair off the floor though so short to have a good style but hey it is still a NEW hair cut.

Oh! before I forget, this gay who did the hair make over just this afternoon, who was hesistate to make a talk for he is somewhat snobbish, you know peeking each other's eyes in the mirror and raised eyebrow (whose eyebrow?) yeah my eyebrow (hey! it is just all way natural for me duh!) and he just can't stop his self asking me (after gently getting the hair clip falls down in my lap) with a question. "are you a STUDENT?" (what? what is that WORD again?) I smiled and answered (which took 4 seconds while thinking what to say) " yeah" (it is still quite good to lie hehehe!), he smiled and asked again" from ATENEO?"

Whoah! That question again? The fvck! what's with that school by the way? I have been asked several times if I am the living nun in that school. well, need to be polite by answering " Yeah!". and he smiled ( as if he guessed my answer).

So what? Yeah so what? anything can we get from you aside from that lady LEIGH?

Yes, for the key no.7 of my cellphone doesn't work. Push pins and all the deadly pointed devices can't make those silly "pqrs7" appear. Wahhhhh! i want to throw this fvcking cellphone!

and then? who the hell cares about your poor cellphone girl?

why

why do i feel very comfortable everytime we talk?
why do i feel very inspired everytime i thought about you?
why do i feel very happy everytime I receive a text from you?
why do i feel very untired everytime we're together?
why do i always think of seeing you again and again?
why do i miss you more everytime you utter short lines to me?

*sigh* whatta feeling?
well, i think i have to position myself up to this point only. No more than that. Should love my work more than him.





if only he knows...

so hot grrrrr..

God! I release so much of watering sweat in my back because it's so hot in here... waaahhh! damn! aircon need to be fixed as early as possible... we're like inside the chamber...I hate going to this laboratory....

headache

this headache really trying to suck the blood of my brain.

and you're here

hmmm seeing you around makes my day complete. Aww! haha.. yeah!

ooops!

I am not MAD.. I am just inspired that's why I posted the previous blog. Weee!

blogging

I was thinking before that girls do have the whole lotta emotional expressions in real. I even think rare guys can do that. but hey! guys express much worst (in the sense they burst out the fvckin' words to say) thoughts concerning on how they face life. What the heck? I am a girl so who the hell could stop me of posting some mushy things in here and popping some stupid stories about my love life? ewww! this is a blog! as my age increases every year my life becomes worsen. yeah because I am meeting many kinds of devil species like you!

Yeah, that's why there are lot of people out there who just can't put all the bullsh!ts through blogging, so why ashamed of yourself? you posted it because you want the whole world knows and don't care if a specie would say "this is a whole lotta stupid blog I have ever read" and so what? if you don't want to read... get a life that sucks you..

I have received some comments that they hate my blog because of the what I am posting that involves no other than my emotional and fvcking love life thoughts.

So well, who the hell are you? You read my blog you revolve around my world. So get lost!

I ain't got any sense from you if you take so much of negativity....

You just can't hide you envy people like us. I don't care about you for the who the hell would care a demon like you?

a message

For the long moment of total silence with my ex, I just cannot hide that I miss his family. His younger brother is SMS-ing me and even missed me and asked me to see them once in a while. Same with my younger sister my ex and her also texting sometimes each other.

No hidden intentions with it, it is just we've became close with each other same as my sister with my ex.

I don't hate him anymore, I know how happy is he of having the new love of his life now. He's been too fast of getting one (hihihi) but it is his decision and i will leave him alone for that knowing how he hates me so bad.

We respect each other's decision and whatever risks will come we should be able to take it, and i didn't take any risk at all coz I am fixed with my move.

But, I don't know what we are now? friends or enemies?

just can't deny

well, a specie like me i still have this urge and drop my emotional level once in a while to say that i terribly missed someone.I know it is dumb to blog it out but I think I am in love again. Ewww! that again?! *banging her head on the wall*

not to talk more

you work in a certain establishment because you know that you're dedicated on that place and because you want to have a new environment to deal with. Of course, being with your officemates you should be able to mingle with them to get closer.

I work here and I know I am the newest member and that seniority is what i should always think about, that I should not raise my level in accordance to them in terms of how many years of experience they have here.

Whatever I said I should be careful and every wrong thing that happens I should be the one to be blamed of. And yes, i know i have the ability to commit mistakes and being a human it is very stupid not to admit that i did something wrong which i know i am responsible with it, but it is more stupid as a bastard if I have to admit the mistakes of others.

I know I have forgotten most of the times of the things that I am doing but this time God knows I did the right thing and I know it was not MY fault.

I wasn't able to explain anymore because i decided to calm down while that person was talking infront of me. It hurts me, it makes me mad really mad.

Is it not right to sometimes accept your own mistakes?

headache

I have a severe headache today. Argh! it's unbearable. I've already stopped my medication for long time. I have lots of things to do. I'm hiding the pain, as if I'm ok just to be sure nobody in here knows about it.

hehehe

I have thought of changing my image and figure just to look more "beautiful". It's not that I am too proud to say i am that pretty but on the way I look at myself I am still fortunate of having a "less" desirable beauty than others and I love my father about that.

There are some people who like and adore you because of the way you look like, they even trying to tell you what to do so that you can be more likable and desirable.

Well, I don't give enough time to think about that. If someone loves me truly. He will accept and appreciate my weaknesses .

and.... I will do once in a while something that really turns him off, lovers do that to test how long they could accept each other.

what happen to my title? hehehehe

soul-shivering eyes

I know i know I am posting something "unusual" here. But you know I just want to spare this time for you to know that I am currently sticking my attention to these following artists and actor. They are really nice and so handsome and..... yummy Bahahaha.

The Resurrection of AUTOMATA

I graduated from my course without dealing with AUTOMATA (because we were hooked with the old curriculum). The first time I saw its book was when I had my first job and was tasked to teach such subject. It caught me in awe knowing I don't possess or own any little bit discernment about it. Well, that time was a challenge for me.

I took it, bearing a nutshell about the said subject.

While I opened the book I read the Preface Part and the Introduction (well it is still important to know what you're eating eh?) and appeared a very lengthy blah blah in which I opted to scan over the pages.

What I have seen were symbols and letters and those curved arrows ewww! i don't intend to suffer and burn my soul with these after gaining low grades in mathematics in college. Well, AUTOMATA is not a full mathematics but hey! Imagine! crooking with this kind of whatever-letting-yourself-understand is new to me. I still need a skilled demon to at least give me brief idea of what are these things all about?

That was what happened before, to make it short, I don't have any choice but swallow and digest on whatever is being fed by my understanding.

I devoted the most of my time learning it. and I did, It was fun and I realize its relevance and relations with computers.

Duh! I was even thinking searching item at any search engines is an example of it, even the program source codes checking and everything that revolves around computer operation was made through the concept of automata

I did learn a lot, I admit I did.

I was having a good time divulging more until I reached to the topic when the duration was over.

2 years of absence kissing with AUTOMATA, now is the time to make it rise again.

Self-taught will make you feel genius once in while ;)

waited for nothing

I know patience is a virtue but this time I am not loosing perseverance but animosity due to the great hunch of me today.

darn! I don't wanna waste any single of my time for nothing, much more of waiting for something invisible.

woot? what am I saying here? duh! I decided to wait and I was expecting it but i'm so disappointed. I should have headed to a place to get my important stuffs but i refused my feet to go in there but rather whirl to other angel.

*sigh* annoyance it is but I am annoyed by myself not by someone.

men and women

while I was printing some documents alone here at our office, things suddenly wandering in my mind as I gently look at the whole figure of the room and a question had come out "when will I leave this place?"

I know this is my second job with the same profession in which I didn't expect to made it happened, but maybe because I have learned to love it that's why it took the twice twist for now.

Yeah, I do enjoy this, because I offer help to people who are needing my knowledge in the best way I can which somehow they never regretted because these people whom I have console to excel more have been successful in their career.

leaving in a place will make you free to jump another taste of experience. for your future and for a part of your development. you came in and came out that's how unsatisfied we are.

I know my future doesn't end with the 4 corners of my workplace. lots of choices and slots that are available for me in the outside. but not even once I have devoted my time sipping with them because I am not yet ready.

and because of the idea of "why should I work hard for my future which in fact I am the one who will be sustained by someone?" I am thinking men should work real hard than women.

living with a simple life is enough for me. as of now, I am contented to where i belong coz I don't spend the rest of my compensation to other things to be prioritized but rather saving is the immutable deed I am doing.

maybe because males think BIG on their part. I am wondering why do single men are so vocal when their-empty-pockets-knock-in and started to burst out that way?

because men are not satisfied at all. men have more responsibilities than women.

offensive with girls? haha

just this day my friend told me that -I am offensive with girls- which definitely true. I don't want to discuss this in detail because i don't want to awaken all the "memorable" events concerning with girls.

I remembered how many girls pissed off because of me before and even until now which i didn't do anything against them. Glad that he agreed with the attitudes of girls that i said. Well, i am not talking generally but as far as i knew and dealt personally with girls i can't "ride on" with them, except for sisters who also have the same principles with mine.

i am blogging this for you to know why i prefer dealing with guys than with girls. aside from the longing to have a brother, i am looking to the attitude difference of guys with girls.

be funny sometimes

take a look of someone who cares....

duh! i realized that i have blogged about everything that relates my personal and emotional stuffs. well, i don't have the guts to share all about my work in here because in the first place i'm tired of dealing with this kind of work i am into now, but maybe because i am here now and it's so far and impossible to leave and try another pasture but still you know i am waiting for a knocking opportunity to come.

and besides i am still young, i am enjoying being i am now. and happy with my workplace due to the remarkable friendships i have with my officemates. though you may think i am that kind of a shallow woman in terms of contentment but that's where i know i am happy. I'm still happy with my work though i truly tired of hooking with it over and over again.

but to tell you, people say, my profession is the most relaxing as compared to other, i don't have the plan to engaged in the industry because maybe i am not that confident as of now. I still need thorough experiences and training before i go in.

i can't make any comparison of my current work with other that's why i can say it's tiring, but whenever you're drained and take a relax for a while have funny talks with your officemates make you wipe all your heavy burdens that you're carrying through out the day.

just only laughter can make me unwind and relieve.

my dream

It should be true. Argh! why do dreams don't come true. Heck!

right now

Right now i am very ok, very free and very happy after all. Everything happens for a reason and I am so glad I have accepted the reality of it.

I took the courage to agree more because of my sisters told me that I did the right decision. Well, life is like that. You lose you win.

*sigh* I miss being single again.

i love you goodbye

the lyrics says it all.

because of you

It took so long time since I hugged the magnificence of confusion, and yet I overcome all those instances where in I alone could not take it anymore but to merely stop and relax for a while.

In the midst of my loneliness, I begun to ask myself how ruin my life is? but with this, I became strong and matured in handling things around me. I become aware that life is not just end it there, that every end there is a beginning.

Sometimes, other people are hurting to the things we think it’s right for us. For me, I have already thought about anybody than myself before and I think it’s my time to think about myself now.

I am not selfish though I know you think I am. You will also feel when the times comes of what Im feeling right now.


I am happy now. Happy because I was able to manage myself after all. That I am very much fortunate than anyone else who end up hopeless and miserable.

My life never tasted depression because I’m avoiding that to happen.


You see, I take all the encouragement alone to someone I have trusted in my entire life. Not even my family could not do it that not even some of my friends before could not offer a little bit of it.


God is always there for me and to person who was there the time I needed someone to listen. You know who you are.

it has been the two of us

it has been the two of us who spent the rest of the years being together.

it has been the two of us fought for our relationship even if people don't try to understand what happiness it brought to both of us.

it has been the two of us taking all the ups and downs and never tried to surrender

it has been the two of us who clearly ascertain the worth of what we called love

and it has been the two of us now don't know the whole story and why I AM doing it.

maybe you don't want to lend an ear to listen or maybe my mind doesn't want to execute a little bit of my time to explain it further.

and besides i can now believe and agree that everything has an end.

tell me where it hurts

fix fix fix fix... what word would it be just to get over this? and that's it and i think we both need it.


But, can someone sing me that song pls?

better than I

currently hooking with the song entitled "BETTER THAN I " by david campbell.

past pal?

Last thursday, while I was heading to the mall. someone called my name, and when I got to see him and responded a simple "hi!" my mind was suddenly retrieving all the records stored for 23 years on how this guy knows my name.

I don't know exactly how that guy spent quite seconds to greet me.

Believe me he's a highschool image-like person. How would I prove if he is part in my workplace?

well, what matters is how that person greeted me with a nice smile on his face.

maybe a past pal? ows! really? this dull brain of mine? It even afford to ignore my umbrella that I left at the baggage counter and just after 2 days I remembered how awful I am letting the umbrella taste the feeling of sadness and loneliness during midnight at the mall.

how much more that guy? It's hopeless to recover the lost record anymore.

*sigh* another common daunting event of my life.

LEX 141

this car really never cease to amaze me. You see? I caught this car again for many times this month. Uh! why? I mean c'mon. What is this? What do you mean by this? a soulmate? oh! nah! I don't think so.

I don't know. I really don't know

be mine.. hahahaha

too far away to reach your glimpse that I can't even figure out why I have this inane glut to see you. not too late to realize I am falling for you even before this obsession was born. i have no idea when exactly you will emerge and set things for both of us. could you give me a dazzling sign as to when will you see me and be mine?

oh yeah! i am craving for you. when will i own you now?

Aww! may i know what are the best specs for a laptop?

sealed lips

do you think it's bad to ---- --- -----? i am averting myself to say it here coz I know someone out there is constantly reading my blog.

bothered

I don't know when this exactly ends. The song is killing me so bad.