for the last time

It was 8:45 pm last night when I was urging myself to get out of the house and go over to the downtown (which will take 20 minute-ride from our place) and have to log in to blog what happened to me just that minutes ago. unfortunately, that was the exact time for the whitelady to roam and have fun around the streets. so I remained my feet to stuck hardly on the bed.

I decided to be detailed in here because I want to disclose how terrible it brought to me.

I was alone in my bedroom listening to the radio and suddenly my sister forwarded her text from my ex bf saying DECRYPTED words addressed to me. I sense something that makes him mad which I don’t know why? and with that text I can feel how he still hates me until now.

I was hurt, I admit it, coz all the while I thought everything is ok and everything that happened was bound to be forgotten, I am working on my own and we know we both don’t care each other anymore. and there with that text?

I didn’t know what to do, I was really hurt… I just cant take someone would place an anger on his self because of me…. I really needed someone to talk that night, even just someone to listen.. and I texted my friend, I was affected with the question he told me that I seemed to be so upset with what happened.

I don’t have the move to feel the ache but I am neglecting everything about him. He is vanished in my mind and I am forcing myself to look at the other point of making myself to think about.

My ex texted me the most same message with my sister but he did a change on it. He lied!. I know he lied! he terribly lied just to make me believe! he was pointing not the same person as he promted to the message he sent to my sister.

Damn! why? why does he need to lie after all? Because he is ashamed if he has to tell the truth? I know he lied! That’s so horrible!

im hurt just because he dared to lie! and because of that I am awfully mad at him. I am so weak to accept the fact that he honestly lied.! he doesn’t love me anymore coz he has already gotten someone after me. I don’t care if he owns somebody now. So you may say I am guilty with everything that I am talking here but honestly im not.

I did the right move and that is the consequence. but the question is why does he need to lie? is it the only attitude that I didn’t know about him?


fvck it! you see? (why not go over him girl and give a full blast slap on his face?) duh! why do I have to do it? in the first place, I can’t. it’s not the right way to do. Even if how stupid the situation is .. I am still THINKING.


No! I think blogging is the sure way to burst the devil in me this time. I can’t do something about it. All I need to assure with myself now is to certainly know that I am totally OVER him. There’s no way to bring back all over again! If only I can permit God not to meet us again but He knows everything for me I can’t get a control on that.



whatever it is… the couple of years… I think I have wasted the time. I met the wrong person!and with that, I have regretted all the things. Sue me! he didn’t fight for me after all.

am I more stupid and more bad person for concluding myself on thinking about that?